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Unquestionable Presents

from Unquestionable Presents (Single) by Crusty Old Toad

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lyrics

Well let's just see what we have here
According to my list you've been bad this year
It says you stole some money from your mom's purse
Now it's my job to mark you as cursed

Not talking about stockings filled with coal
I got something more troubling knocking at your door

Down the chimney I go
And I'll greet you with my battle cry (HO HO HO)
It's nothing personal
But still I have to carry out your sentence
Your life will change when I arrange
Your unquestionable presents

I'll deck the halls with some hair from my balls
I'm gonna make my presence known
I'll give you everything that you might need
To turn this house into a home

I changed the language on your phone to Mandarin Chinese
I smacked your dog upside the head with a fist full of fleas
I took a squat over your pot of morning coffee
I administered your sister my HPV

Down the chimney I go
And I'll greet you with my battle cry (HO HO HO)
It's nothing personal
But still I have to carry out your sentence
Your life will change when I arrange
Your unquestionable presents

credits

from Unquestionable Presents (Single), released December 15, 2015

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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon

Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.

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