1. |
Sorcerer's Path
03:52
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So you want a life of mist and magic
Well you're gonna have to pay the price
The road is long as it is twisted
And it's almost always covered in fucking ice
And if you should embark
On a path as cold and black as this
A time will come when there's no turning back
And the only way out is through the grave
Under the crescent moon the weary travel on
Trying to recall why they even started
The darkness unrelenting, the cold chills to the bone
So don't forget to bring a fucking jacket
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2. |
Ashes to Fly
03:30
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When this life gets exhausting
And the toil seems for nothing
There is one thing
That keeps me pushing through
It's to the frozen depths of space
Someday I'm sublimating to
I'll wait for my ashes to fly
But with so much left to see and do
On this lonely spinning rock
I remind myself
Someday it has to end
And on that day
I'm finally coming home
I'll wait for my ashes to fly
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3. |
Cryonica
04:06
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Cryonica, she's as cold as they come
If you see her coming you better run
She'll freeze your cock with her ice-beam glare
You can beg and plead but she won't care
Legend says earth is not where she belongs
She's an ice witch collecting frozen schlong
Cryonica
Don't freeze my junk
That's my favorite stuff
Don't you have enough?
And if you talk to one of her victims
You gotta do your part and listen
'She took my dick, she took my pride
She took me along for a fuckin' ride
I lost what was most important to me
I'm telling you she's evil, please believe!'
Cryonica
Don't ice my junk
That's my favorite stuff
Don't you have enough?
Cryonica
Don't steal my junk
That's my favorite stuff
Don't you have enough?
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4. |
Nefarious Occurrence
02:47
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Found my way to a site
To get a little relief
She can't get that she drives me there
When she's giving me grief
Deed is done history erased
The perfect fucking crime
Free videos and I'm free of pain
The binding stress unwinds
What she can't see can cause no harm
Until one day she typed in 'P - O - R...'
Demonic screams engulf
The space in which I dwell
Autofill has put me
In a new kind of hell
She screams:
'Who the fuck do you think you are?
What the hell do you need that for?
I can't believe you would do this to me
What's wrong, am i not pretty enough for you?'
Now I only get 2 beers a day
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5. |
Season of Drought
04:36
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Fertile land has withered
My member once hard now shriveled
When will the rains bring moisture again?
Until that day the drought extends
Season of drought
When will the spell be broken?
Season of drought
The flood gates must open again
From green to brown, such a tragic sight
I'm beginning to forget what green feels like
The sun beats down each passing day, relentless
When will the rains bring some relief?
Season of drought
When will the spell be broken?
Season of drought
The flood gates must open again
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6. |
The Apothecary
02:52
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Poison he knows is what he sells
Disguised as cure for all that ails
So step in line and move up one by one
Set the potion down and hope you picked the right one
The Apothecary
Setting his sights
Slowly taking your life
And now you find yourself addicted
To the magic elixir supposed to cure
To an old problem add a new one
It's no better but it's different than before
The Apothecary
No end in sight
Slowly taking your life
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7. |
Daydream in Hell
03:58
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Born of hellfire
To the wretched one
Indentured servitude
Is my prospect
But deep down I know
I want to learn dance steps
Satan, won't you hear my plea?
This line of work is not for me
I'm a sensitive soul and I gotta be free
A competitive ice dancer is what I want to be
Pitchfork to the guts
Tie them to the rack
Stick thumbtacks into their eyes
And force their bones to crack
This morbid line of work
Is slowly tearing at my soul
All I want to do is go and learn the tango
Satan, won't you hear my cry?
If this keeps up I know I'm gonna die
I'm a sensitive soul and an entertainer
Please let me go and do the Macarena
Satan, please acknowledge my stress
If this goes on my life will be a mess
I'm a sensitive soul and I've got to get away
I gotta get down on that floor and do the stanky leg
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8. |
Halloween
03:02
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Headed to a party tonight
Cause it's Halloween
Beneath the pale moonlight
No dead cats hanging from poles
But I'm still looking for some pussy
Tonight on All Hallow's Eve
The night goes on the crowd is leaner
With some luck somebody will touch my wiener
But if not, I'm not one to worry
I'll just go home and jerk off instead
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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon
Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.
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