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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Unquestionable Presents (Single)

by Crusty Old Toad

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  • Crusty Old Toad T-shirt
    T-Shirt/Apparel

    Crescent moon logo as designed by Christophe Szpajdel

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  • Shadow In The Water T-Shirt
    T-Shirt/Apparel

    The toad goes down with the sinking ship on this shirt inspired by Shadow In The Water

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1.
Well let's just see what we have here According to my list you've been bad this year It says you stole some money from your mom's purse Now it's my job to mark you as cursed Not talking about stockings filled with coal I got something more troubling knocking at your door Down the chimney I go And I'll greet you with my battle cry (HO HO HO) It's nothing personal But still I have to carry out your sentence Your life will change when I arrange Your unquestionable presents I'll deck the halls with some hair from my balls I'm gonna make my presence known I'll give you everything that you might need To turn this house into a home I changed the language on your phone to Mandarin Chinese I smacked your dog upside the head with a fist full of fleas I took a squat over your pot of morning coffee I administered your sister my HPV Down the chimney I go And I'll greet you with my battle cry (HO HO HO) It's nothing personal But still I have to carry out your sentence Your life will change when I arrange Your unquestionable presents

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released December 15, 2015

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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon

Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.

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