1. |
Scholastic Vivisection
03:44
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In oppressive darkness I awake
The hum from the engine, a cryptic dirge for faith
Where I am going, the devil may tell
As we slow to a stop, the engine's song is quelled
O! A sudden burst of light
Fluorescent and sterile, burning in my eyes
Screaming voices of children from outside the door
In a moment of horror I know whats in store
Under the knife
Stripped of my life
So Jimmy jerk off may learn a lesson
In scholastic vivisection
Under the knife
Stripped of my life
So Tommy fat tits may learn a lesson
In scholastic vivisection
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2. |
Scared By A Werewolf
03:04
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Walking down the street in the dead of the night
The sidewalk below bathed in the pale moonlight
And I gotta walk just two blocks more
Until I make it home with beer and chips from the store
But through the mist and the fog
A dark figure moves and shakes
And by the time I heard its howl
I knew it was too late
I've been scared by a werewolf
I turn the corner towards the spooky graveyard
With a sense of dread deep within my heart
But through the mist and the fog
A dark figure bobs and weaves
As I stare in frozen terror
The moonlight shining on his teeth
I've been scared by a werewolf
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3. |
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Nightfall caresses me again
A welcome respite from their ceaseless probing eyes
Captured and placed on display
On the headphone tour, button number five
This man made space taunts and mocks me
A pale illusion of free will
Now all I yearn for is my freedom
Yet here I wait to rot inside this cell
Day after mind numbing day
You know where to find me
Just to the left of the food court and bathrooms
Ten dollars is all you will pay
If you want to see me
Doing time at the county zoo
There's a discount if you bring your kids too
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4. |
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In three thousand BC she was entombed
She lay at peace for centuries til grave robbers came crashing through
Now she’s awake from her slumber
And she’s out for black revenge
Under wraps
That’s where you wish she’d stay
But she’s taking it all off
It’s the price you'll have to pay
One look at her decaying flesh
And you won’t get hard for weeks
Five thousand years of evil
In her rotten ass cheeks
Now she’s loose on the streets and she’s strutting her stuff
Flashing her innocent victims making them want to throw up
Women and children, the elderly
No man is safe from her scorn
Under wraps
Thats where you wish she’d be
But she’s taking it all off
For everyone to see
You'll see her and you’ll want to scream
But you won’t make a sound
Five thousand years of evil
In her sloppy putrid mound
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5. |
Whispers From The Woods
03:34
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A walk through the woods after midnight
To put my troubled mind at ease
When out in the obsidian blackness
I see the flicker of fire and smoke through the trees
Slowly i creep to try and catch a glimpse
Of what’s really going on
A hooded cabal shrouded in moonlight
Answering to Satan's call
I can’t believe my ears
The global elite discussing my worst fears
Flat earth and chemtrails, mind control vaccines
All confirmed but who would ever believe an absolute shithead like me?
I can’t believe my eyes
The global elite plotting the earth's demise
The pyramids were built with alien technology
I could carve it in stone but who would ever believe
A guitar playing frog like me?
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6. |
Curse Of The Witch
04:00
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Well you met her at the bar on a Saturday
Things were going alright and you liked what she had to say
Gave it a couple hours and then you’re back to her bedroom
But you didn’t know about the curse shed placed on you
You never saw her again
You forgot it even happened
Until you got a paycheck that was 2/3rds short
Now you don’t know what’s going on
Beware the curse of the witch
She’ll drive you right into a ditch
Beware the curse of the witch
Or your sanity will cease to exist
She lied when she said she was on the pill
She says you’re the father, and now her pockets you must fill
Who really fathered the child, no one can really say
But for the next eighteen years, you will have to pay
Beware the curse of the witch
She’ll drive you right into a ditch
Beware the curse of the witch
Cause she’s seriously a fucking bitch
And if you don’t pay you’ll get locked up
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7. |
Doom Gloom And Poon
04:52
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Under the eye of the powers that be
Some information they take, and some I give for free
Recording on file my every move
Where I go, what i buy, and what i jerk it to
A virtual world created just for me
Compiled from my data by the regime
The world outside is looking grim
With blood, fire and death raping the earth
So I reach for my headset - government issued
And in the blink of an eye, all my stress is relieved
In my virtual world I am running free
Endless fountains of beer on every street
Heavy metal blasting, strippers dance to the beat
And I don’t know why I’d ever want to leave
Feed me distortions of reality
To blind me from the gruesome truth
With doom and gloom swirling around me
All I can think about is poon
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8. |
Hell Would Be A Step Up
03:42
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Now I've been coming apart at the seams
Guess you could say I've been down on my luck
Cause I've been circling the drain
Getting real sick of wading through the muck
So I believe its time
To let the demons win
And embrace the inferno
In the belly of the beast
As above so below oh say it ain’t so
Hell would be a step up
Now with the world coming down, looks like I’m out of luck
Hell would be a step up
They said the devil that you know
Is better than the one that you don't
But I'd gladly sell my soul if it meant that i could just switch this up
So I believe its time
To let the demons win
And melt the flesh right off my bones
Cause it cant be worse than this
Curses come back to roost
So I hope that the debt fits the crime
Cause I've beat my meat almost every day
Since i turned the age of nine
So send me straight to hell
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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon
Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.
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