I Turned Into A Human

from by Crusty Old Toad

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I was down by the pond sucking on slime
When I felt something grabbing me from behind
I turned around to look and see who had felt the need to bother me
But a set of puckered human lips were all I could see

My limbs started to contort
My warted flesh was peeling from my bones
My body was expanding, assuming its new form
I felt my shape was shifting to a human from a toad

As I looked down at my open palms
For the first time
I couldn't help but stop to think
For jerking off these will do just fine

Since that kiss turned me into a human I see life differently
Now I need a job to pay my bills and I aim when I go pee
I feel the need to clothe myself when I'm walking down the street
And I know no matter what I do, someday I'm gonna die


from Turn People Into Food, released April 28, 2017



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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon

Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.

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