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Nefarious Occurrence

by Crusty Old Toad

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  • Limited (Cvlt as fvck) edition jewelcase CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with lyric booklet

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  • Crusty Old Toad T-shirt
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    Crescent moon logo as designed by Christophe Szpajdel

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  • Shadow In The Water T-Shirt
    T-Shirt/Apparel

    The toad goes down with the sinking ship on this shirt inspired by Shadow In The Water

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1.
So you want a life of mist and magic Well you're gonna have to pay the price The road is long as it is twisted And it's almost always covered in fucking ice And if you should embark On a path as cold and black as this A time will come when there's no turning back And the only way out is through the grave Under the crescent moon the weary travel on Trying to recall why they even started The darkness unrelenting, the cold chills to the bone So don't forget to bring a fucking jacket
2.
Ashes to Fly 03:30
When this life gets exhausting And the toil seems for nothing There is one thing That keeps me pushing through It's to the frozen depths of space Someday I'm sublimating to I'll wait for my ashes to fly But with so much left to see and do On this lonely spinning rock I remind myself Someday it has to end And on that day I'm finally coming home I'll wait for my ashes to fly
3.
Cryonica 04:06
Cryonica, she's as cold as they come If you see her coming you better run She'll freeze your cock with her ice-beam glare You can beg and plead but she won't care Legend says earth is not where she belongs She's an ice witch collecting frozen schlong Cryonica Don't freeze my junk That's my favorite stuff Don't you have enough? And if you talk to one of her victims You gotta do your part and listen 'She took my dick, she took my pride She took me along for a fuckin' ride I lost what was most important to me I'm telling you she's evil, please believe!' Cryonica Don't ice my junk That's my favorite stuff Don't you have enough? Cryonica Don't steal my junk That's my favorite stuff Don't you have enough?
4.
Found my way to a site To get a little relief She can't get that she drives me there When she's giving me grief Deed is done history erased The perfect fucking crime Free videos and I'm free of pain The binding stress unwinds What she can't see can cause no harm Until one day she typed in 'P - O - R...' Demonic screams engulf The space in which I dwell Autofill has put me In a new kind of hell She screams: 'Who the fuck do you think you are? What the hell do you need that for? I can't believe you would do this to me What's wrong, am i not pretty enough for you?' Now I only get 2 beers a day
5.
Fertile land has withered My member once hard now shriveled When will the rains bring moisture again? Until that day the drought extends Season of drought When will the spell be broken? Season of drought The flood gates must open again From green to brown, such a tragic sight I'm beginning to forget what green feels like The sun beats down each passing day, relentless When will the rains bring some relief? Season of drought When will the spell be broken? Season of drought The flood gates must open again
6.
Poison he knows is what he sells Disguised as cure for all that ails So step in line and move up one by one Set the potion down and hope you picked the right one The Apothecary Setting his sights Slowly taking your life And now you find yourself addicted To the magic elixir supposed to cure To an old problem add a new one It's no better but it's different than before The Apothecary No end in sight Slowly taking your life
7.
Born of hellfire To the wretched one Indentured servitude Is my prospect But deep down I know I want to learn dance steps Satan, won't you hear my plea? This line of work is not for me I'm a sensitive soul and I gotta be free A competitive ice dancer is what I want to be Pitchfork to the guts Tie them to the rack Stick thumbtacks into their eyes And force their bones to crack This morbid line of work Is slowly tearing at my soul All I want to do is go and learn the tango Satan, won't you hear my cry? If this keeps up I know I'm gonna die I'm a sensitive soul and an entertainer Please let me go and do the Macarena Satan, please acknowledge my stress If this goes on my life will be a mess I'm a sensitive soul and I've got to get away I gotta get down on that floor and do the stanky leg
8.
Halloween 03:02
Headed to a party tonight Cause it's Halloween Beneath the pale moonlight No dead cats hanging from poles But I'm still looking for some pussy Tonight on All Hallow's Eve The night goes on the crowd is leaner With some luck somebody will touch my wiener But if not, I'm not one to worry I'll just go home and jerk off instead

about

The 1st album

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released November 4, 2015

Toaderus Crusticus - Dungeon master/chronic masturbator

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Crusty Old Toad Portland, Oregon

Toaderus Crusticus emerged from the swamp in the autumn of 2015 with one thing on his amphibian mind: heavy fuckin' metal.

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